Senior June Park presented this essay as her Senior Chapel Speech. Students and teachers alike were touched by her poignant message, and the eBulletin wanted to share it with all our readers.

In John Donne’s “Meditation 17,” Donne said, “Mankind is of one author and is one volume”; each one of us is a leaf of a book, and a chapter is a generation.            

In my case and in my book, my leaf is my everyday occurrences, and each chapter is divided by what I have learned from past experiences. So, this chapter is called, “CD.”            

What does CD stand for? Is it Christian Dior or a compact disc? No. C and D are grades that I have received from the beginning of my senior year. Although I have earned A’s and B’s in my classes, C’s and D’s are the grades that I have mainly earned. With no doubt, getting C’s and D’s is not easy to accept. Since I knew that the first trimester grades play a big role in college applications, I could not breathe easy. Especially, English 12 and A.P. U.S. History were the main factors that were bringing my grades down.            

Particularly, I was even sadder whenever I earned bad grades on my tests and quizzes in English 12. I even tried to squint my eyes to see if the D could be a C since I was not familiar with my English teacher’s cursive handwriting; however, that was in vain. The D was still a D. I tried to encourage myself that time would solve the problem; however, even after a couple of months, I was earning nothing but still C’s and D’s, no matter how hard I worked. Listening to Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day” holding my D papers, I cried and cried after school. I had done my best, and all I could say to myself was that English is my second language. How can I write better essays and earn better grades? How can I solve this problem if this is as much as my ability can handle?            

The reason why I was more distressed with my low grades was not just only because I was worried about getting into colleges. It was also because this idea of studying abroad means more than merely learning English and going to a college to me. While studying in America is a great opportunity, it is a burden. On my left shoulder, I have my pride and my self-esteem. On my right shoulder, I have my family’s hope and expectation. No one in my family has ever studied abroad in foreign countries, so the decision of sending me to the United States was groundbreaking for my parents. Not only that, I am the oldest daughter for my parents and the oldest granddaughter for my entire family. Thus, earning low grades made me even more frustrated and less confident since I did not want to disappoint my family.            

Earning unsatisfactory grades eventually led me to be unhappy, and I started losing control of myself. I started blaming myself for not being able to achieve high grades and started questioning if I should have stayed in Korea. I could not help not being obsessive about my grades since the grades seemed like a big deal because they affected my immediate future.            

Thus, I decided to call my mom, who is my best friend and my life counselor. On the other hand, she is the most realistic person I know. So, I called, and Mom said on the phone, “I knew it.” That was a quick and simple response. Then, she continued to say, “Remember that you have always had to spend ten more times than others to achieve your goals. When I decided to send you there, I did not expect that you were going to get straight A’s. I wanted you to experience that the world can be bitter and unfair. Think about it. If your English teacher gave you A’s and did not correct your errors, you would not have known what you missed. I know that you have been working hard; however, it is hard. You are there by yourself. You are there with strangers who speak different languages, who have grown up in different environments, and who have different thoughts and philosophies; however, you have to learn how to adapt to the situation wisely instead of complaining about it.”            

She was right. Because of a heavy schedule and grief about my grades, I seemed to have forgotten about the core purpose of the studying abroad. While I still care about my grades, I concentrate more on what I learn. I came to the United States to extend my horizon, to satisfy my academic interests, and hence, to step out of my comfort zone. I quickly analyzed my problems. I tend to overanalyze myself and tend to be self-deprecating whenever I cannot meet my expectation, and such attitudes do not help me to improve my grades.            

That was the end of chapter, “CD,” and I moved on to the next chapter, “determination.” Although I am the kind of person who cries easily, I decided not to cry anymore. I decided to be positive about myself and to become broad-minded. Then, I needed practical changes. Since I had already made a lot of mistakes and earned low grades, it was time for me to think about how I can not make the same mistakes again, thinking of Thomas Edison’s quote, “Failure is but a stepping stone to success.” Whenever I received low grades, I went to see my teachers to correct my mistakes and to talk about how I should prepare for the next assignment. I did not drop any of my classes; instead I put forth my best efforts. Also, I asked my American friends to correct my English, and I did not feel shameful.            

Unfortunately, my grades have not changed a lot; however, slowly, I have improved, and I am happy. Not only have I obtained advanced studying skills, but also this experience from my senior year has taught me not to be discouraged by immediate results and taught me to apply myself to the fullest extent. I have become patient, modest, careful, and mature. I believe that the experience has become a stepping stone to lead me into a successful year in college.            

Dear underclassmen sisters. I know that some of you or a lot of you have been struggling with your classes just like I have. However, do not give up and do not be afraid of making mistakes. Your hard work and conscientious attitude will eventually pay off.            

Dear international students. I understand that a language barrier can be higher than most other obstacles. However, be proud of yourself being independent in a foreign country and always express your thoughts without worrying about English errors.            

Finally, dear my senior friends. Congratulations on your achievements so far. We are almost ready to leave high school; however, another beginning is awaiting us. Always follow your heart and follow your dream. It has been great pleasure to me to be your classmate and to watch your amazing talents.            

Thanks to Linden Hall and all my teachers. Had I not come to Linden Hall, I would have not learned these priceless lessons and would have not met you. Thanks to my family in Korea and my American family in Georgia who trust me more than any one, and thanks to my adviser, Mrs. Hutchison.            

One and a half years are short, but they have taught me that I can do better, and I should challenge myself to discover my potential. As a woman, as a foreigner, and as myself, I will do my best to succeed and will always reflect on my high school years as I leave Linden Hall with fondness.